Confucius Says 6

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Confucius Says 5

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Confucius Says 4

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Confucius Says 3

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Confucius Say 4

Man who behaves like an ass will be the butt of those who crack jokes.

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Man who run behind car get exhausted.

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Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

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Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

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Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.

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Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.

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Woman who wear jockstrap have make believe ballroom.

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Confucius Say 3

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

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Man who farts in church sits in his own pew.

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He who makes love in grass, gets piece on earth.

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

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A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.

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Man who put head on Railroad track to listen for train likely to end up with splitting headache.

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Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

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Confucius Say 2

Man that is stuck in pantry has his ass in jam.

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Man standing on toilet is high on pot.

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Secretary not permanent fixture until screwed on top of desk.

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Man who stick foot in mouth get athlete's tongue.

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Man that go to bed with itchy butt wake up with sticky fingers.

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Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.

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Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.

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Confucius Say

Man who run in front of car get tired.

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Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

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Baseball is wrong - man with four balls cannot walk.

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Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.

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Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

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It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.

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Man who drive like hell bound to get there.

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Funny Quotes 10

War do not determine who right, war determine who left. - Confucius Say (more confucius say)
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A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. - Mark Twain
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I'm telling you there's an enemy that would like to attack America, Americans, again. There just is. That's the reality of the world. And I wish him all the very best. - George W. Bush (more george w. bush)
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Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue. - Dilbert
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Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. - Woody Allen
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Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies. - Oliver Goldsmith
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