Funny Quotes

Don’t worry about avoiding temptation… as you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill

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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx (more groucho)

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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. - Herbert Henry Asquith

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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates

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Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. - Unknown

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A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it. - Unknown

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See Also: Famous Funny Quotes