Jim Carrey Quotes

"One thing I hope I'll never be is drunk with my own power. And anybody who says I am will never work in this town again."

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"Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes."

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"My report card always said, 'Jim finishes first and then disrupts the other students'."

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"Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass."

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"Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches."

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"That's the trouble with being me. At this point, nobody gives a damn what my problem is. I could literally have a tumor on the side of my head and they'd be like, 'Yeah, big deal. I'd eat a tumor every morning for the kinda money you're pulling down."

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Steve Martin Quotes 3

"A celebrity is any well-known TV or movie star who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair."

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"I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them."

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"I gave my cat a bath the other day...they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it. It was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that..."

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"I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too."

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"It's so hard to believe in anything anymore. I mean, it's like, religion. You really can't take it seriously, because it seems so mythological. It seems so arbitrary. But, on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch."

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"I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they're crouching and hidden."

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Steve Martin Quotes 2

"You're nuts but you're welcome here."

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"Writers block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol."

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"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks."

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"We've had some fun tonight...considering we're all gonna die someday."

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"First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me."

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"You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither."

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Steve Martin Quotes

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

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"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

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"Some people have a way with words....some people....not have way."

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"I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you set out to make art you're an idiot."

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"Boy, those French! They have a different word for everything."

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"Talking about music is like dancing about architecture."

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