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Homer Simpson Memes

Before there was family guy or Southpark there was another show that pissed off American parents. It was called "The Simpsons" In honor of the show that started it all here's some great tips from Homer Simpson. Read them so you can raise your kids properly.

Homer Simpson Quotes 4

Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
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The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!
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When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something.
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I'm having the best day of my life, and I owe it all to not going to Church! I think Smithers picked me because of my motivational skills. Everyone says they have to work a lot harder when I'm around.
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Dear Lord,The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal.
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That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!
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I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!
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Homer Simpson Quotes 3

Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
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You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
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Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
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When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
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Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
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I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
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[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
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What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
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