Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?
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You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
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Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
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When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
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Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
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I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
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[Meeting Aliens] Please don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
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What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
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