THE BACK SEAT FART:
This is a fart that occurs only in automobiles. It is identified chiefly by odor. The Back Seat Fart can usually be concealed by traffic noise as it is an eased-out fart and not very loud. But its odor is foul, will give it away, due to the way air circulates in a car.
THE BARRED OWL FART:
A familiarity with owl calls is helpful in identifying this fart. Almost any morning if you get up just before daybreak you can hear one of these birds talking to himself. It's a sort of a crazy laugh, particularly the way it ends. If you hear a fart that has about eight notes in it, ending on a couple of down notes, and it sounds maniacal, you have heard the rare Barred Owl Fart.
The Beefy Fart:
Sounds loud, and smells like rotten beefy ravioli.
The Brewer Fart:
This fart can't be pushed out. It sits deep within your bowels fermenting to maximum stank, where it is slowly released without you knowing.
THE BUBBLE PACK FART:
This is the fart encountered by secretarys or people who sit a lot during the day. It is known for it's bubble pack sound effect, similar to a machine gun, but much duller. Much effort goes into keeping this fart consealed, but when it is expelled, it's a real gas. Bus drivers encounter this fart, but cover it up by reving the engine.
THE BULLET FART:
Its single and most pronounced diagnostic characteristic is its sound. It sounds like a muzzled gun. The farter can be said to have snapped it off. It can startle spectators and farter alike. Fairly common following the eating of the more common fart foods, such as beans.
The Bunbuster Fart:
When othis rear splitting feat you will feel your buns move apart, and ripple. Also known as: The Moses. (splitting of the brown sea)
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