you’re fat

you’re fat

Why So Fat?

things just got serious

Yeah, we stole this from whatever site that is there, but it's so damn funny we couldn't resist. So credit to http://getoutofthemirror.com/ go check out their site. I'm sure it's fancier than ours anyway. 

Yo Mama's So Fat 3

Yo mama so fat small objects orbit her.

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Yo mama so fat she makes olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic.

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Yo mama so fat when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

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Yo mama so fat when she farted she launched herself into orbit.

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Yo Mama's So Fat 2

Yo mama so fat she sat on a Nintendo Gamecube and it turned into a gameboy.

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Yo mama so fat she makes Kiko the Whale look like a Smartie.

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Yo mama so fat NASA plans to use her to shore up the hole in the ozone layer.

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Yo mama so fat she was measured at 38-26-36 and that was just the left arm.

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Do You Believe In Magic?

Overheard from a fat chick: "I only had a donut" "I can eat one donut and gain 5 pounds."

So here's my question. How? How is that physically possible? A donut that weighs a couple ounces maybe, made you gain 5 lbs? Either you're lying, and you ate 5 lbs worth of donuts. Or possibly a 5 lb donut. Or a donut, 2 boxes of pizza, a Big Mac, side of ribs, fries, an apple pie, slusy, and a beer to was it down. Also, p.s. everyone should know by now that the Atkins diet thing was a scam. Carbs don't get you fat. Do you know how easy it is for your body to burn off carbs? Sleeping uses up 400 calories. Imagine, blinking, looking, breathing, smelling. You're losing calories by doing nothing.

And since carbs are basically sugars, then take sweet snacks off the list, soda, etc. Those aren't going to get you fat either in regular amounts. You will only gain 5 lbs if you eat 5 lbs of these foods. Your body does not store them. Your body can store fats, but only if you don't use them, and they are needed. Am I a doctor? No, but I did make it through middle school health class, and I have common sense. But if you still insist on saying a donut made you fat, then stop eating the donuts, because someone is putting magic in them.

Whoever is making the magic donuts, please stop. You're making people get fat. That goes for the magic breads, cake, anything with carbs basically. And don't try to trick me by saying it's not magic, because I know it is. I eat a lot of those things, and I never get fat from them, so it must be some kind of sorcery. I'm not sure why you are making those people fat. Maybe you just don't like them. But stop. They're taking all the handicapped spots.

p.s. - The average store bought donut weighs about 1.8 ounces. To get 5 pounds you would need toeat 4 dozen of them, plus 4 extra donuts. (44 donuts).


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Fat Guy In a Little Coat

Dear Fat People, why do you insist on wearing clothes that are way to small for you? Do you not know that they are too small for you? I could help you out. First of all it's not going to fit. You'll have to squeeze into it. Another really big clue that it doesn't fit is your fatness will be hanging out of it.

"They don't make clothes for us big people." What? What did you say? Most stores cater to fat people. They don't make clothes for regular people. I can find clothes all day long for fat people, but if I want to buy a pair of pants I have to wear my zipper hanging open, because apparently if you're not of earth shaking weight you must be a little kid.

You don't look sexy with your rolls hanging out. When guys say they like a girl with curves they mean curves like an hour glass. Not like the Michellin Man. And when girls say they like a guy with some meat on them, they mean muscle. Not a rump roast hanging over your belt.

Come on fatties. They're making clothes just for you. Why don't you wear them? Stop scaring the kids.


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