Yo Mama's So Fat 5

Yo mama so fat the only thing that's attracted to her is gravity.

Tweet

Yo mama so fat her graduation photo was an aerial.

Tweet

Yo mama so fat when she auditioned for a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark she got the part of the big Rolling Ball.

Tweet

Yo mama so fat she makes Jabba the Hutt look anorexic.

Tweet

Yo Mama's So Fat 3

Yo mama so fat small objects orbit her.

Tweet

Yo mama so fat she makes olympic sumo wrestlers look anerixic.

Tweet

Yo mama so fat when I tell her to haul ass, she gotta make two trips.

Tweet

Yo mama so fat when she farted she launched herself into orbit.

Tweet

Do You Believe In Magic?

Overheard from a fat chick: "I only had a donut" "I can eat one donut and gain 5 pounds."

So here's my question. How? How is that physically possible? A donut that weighs a couple ounces maybe, made you gain 5 lbs? Either you're lying, and you ate 5 lbs worth of donuts. Or possibly a 5 lb donut. Or a donut, 2 boxes of pizza, a Big Mac, side of ribs, fries, an apple pie, slusy, and a beer to was it down. Also, p.s. everyone should know by now that the Atkins diet thing was a scam. Carbs don't get you fat. Do you know how easy it is for your body to burn off carbs? Sleeping uses up 400 calories. Imagine, blinking, looking, breathing, smelling. You're losing calories by doing nothing.

And since carbs are basically sugars, then take sweet snacks off the list, soda, etc. Those aren't going to get you fat either in regular amounts. You will only gain 5 lbs if you eat 5 lbs of these foods. Your body does not store them. Your body can store fats, but only if you don't use them, and they are needed. Am I a doctor? No, but I did make it through middle school health class, and I have common sense. But if you still insist on saying a donut made you fat, then stop eating the donuts, because someone is putting magic in them.

Whoever is making the magic donuts, please stop. You're making people get fat. That goes for the magic breads, cake, anything with carbs basically. And don't try to trick me by saying it's not magic, because I know it is. I eat a lot of those things, and I never get fat from them, so it must be some kind of sorcery. I'm not sure why you are making those people fat. Maybe you just don't like them. But stop. They're taking all the handicapped spots.

p.s. - The average store bought donut weighs about 1.8 ounces. To get 5 pounds you would need toeat 4 dozen of them, plus 4 extra donuts. (44 donuts).


More Questions

share this>>>

WTF Is Wrong With Your Eyes?

I was just reading Yahoo news, trying to see if there was anything else crazy going on. I mean a British Royal wedding that isn't to a family member, and the death of Osama Bin Laden in such a short period of time. Wow. What's next?

Well of course I didn't find anything interesting. Just your typical story that isn't really a story. Full of very, very far left wing opinions based on 0 facts. You know the typical story written about on Yahoo.

But I did find a story about how the actress Donna Douglas (Who?), who played "Elly May" on the "Beverly Hillbillies", was suing Mattel for making a barbie doll that used her image without permission. I don't know the facts of this case, so I have no opinion on it. Thanks Yahoo for another half-assed story.

But then I discovered something interesting. The author mentioned another problem the Mattel company had with Barbie involving some I'm guessing lesbian-man hating-girl power-I didn't get invited to the prom because I'm annoying-but I told everyone that it was because I was a woman-and that men run proms-and females typically get less fruit punch in their glasses then men-chick named Galia Slayen.

Galia Slayen (who is not fat at all) stood up for her fellow fat sisters by complaining that Barbie's proportions were not comparable to that of a "normal sized girl" and that it gave them self image problems.

Then she made a statue to prove her point. See below.



lol. Wouldn't it be so funny if females actually looked like Barbie? All deformed like that. High five fat sisters we win again!

But wait a second. Let's take a look at an actual Barbie doll, as shown below.



Wait a second. Let's see those side by side now.



How the freaking frack? What is wrong with your eyes chick? How did Barbie go from being a normal sized girl to a mutated freak? That Barbie doll doesn't have super long spider arms, and a huge chest with a tiny head. Proportions? What are the proportions of a Barbie doll? Is it 3 feet tall, or 7 feet tall?

Do you really hate normal sized chicks that much, or you just have nothing better to do? Who fits that image? I can tell you 2 of them right off the top of my head. First one would be Paris Hilton. She fits the body of Barbie to a T. And the second one, the freaking girl who is complaining about Barbie. Hello chick she has your body type. Doh!


See More So Called News


Alls I'm saying is "EXERCISE". And "You can't gain 5 pounds from a donut that doesn't even way more than a couple ounces."