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Joan Rivers Quotes







Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.
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Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.
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I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.
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I don't exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.
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I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
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I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
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I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
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I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property."
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