Pocket Pool

Forever alone: You have a ride right?

Dick move right there. I'm betting this guy told his friend "Hey let's go play some pool." and forgot to mention that he's going to bring his girl along and makeout with her the whole time. No one wants to be the third wheel. You just made your friend feel like the biggest tool in the world.

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Female Reception

Have you ever gone through a tunnel or into a building and had your cell phone signal go a little whack, so that you couldn't really hear exactly what the person on the other end said? Or had an unplugged radio go nuts when some redneck truckers decides to get on his seriously powerful C.B. radio at 3 in the morning singing really crappy love songs? I've had both. These little interferences get the original message twisted up until it's not the same message anymore. Well this is how chicks work.

You see guys' brains have great recievers. The sound quality is dolby....um 5.0. Girls' brains are on a calling plan. They have great reception with other girls, but their conversation with a guy can get a bit fuzzy. Did I lose you? I lost myself. Anyway, sometimes they go through tunnels. What are these tunnels? Bad memories. Bad memories triggered by keywords or phrases. Okay maybe I should have gone with an internet analogy here.

Think of it like this. When you're talking to a girl she's driving her car. You're at home microwaving hot pockets or something. She doesn't know where she's going. She's just going where you tell her to go. Every word you speak sends her in a certain direction. Certain keywords or phrases trigger memories of hers, which sends her into a tunnel where her reception get's screwy. After you've experienced this enough you can start to tell when she's just entered a tunnel.

How can you tell a tunnel is being entered? It's simple. If her response to what you just said makes you go "WTF?" she's entering a tunnel.

For example. You say "I need to get some more gas in the car before we leave."

And she answers back. "Oh so I'm too fat for you now? You're going to the store to get away from me? If you don't want to go to my parents then just say so."

Let me make this very clear. Do not keep trying to make her understand what you are saying. She's going through a tunnel. You're just going to make it worse. Just say I can tell you're going through a tunnel right now. I'll talk to you later. This will give her time to get out of the tunnel, and you can think of a different way to phrase whatever you're saying.

Toy Yoda. lol. That hooters prositute is pissed.

Owling

Now that's owling in style.

Is that dude wearing ballet slippers?

Try explaining that to the parents.

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Derp 2

Classy guy!

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Alaska is cold!

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Team derp!

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