Bentō (べんとう ) is a single-portion takeout meal about the size of a frozen dinner from the store, and similarly packed with meats, veggies, and maybe even fruit or deserts. The difference is the Bentō is not just made for shoving down your pie hole. It's meant to be enjoyed. These tasty character meals are enjoyed by both young and old alike. I like that so much effort was put into such simple meals. It just shows that anything done with love is better.
An Irish man is sitting in a bar in Cuba and is minding his business when a man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whiskey. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whiskey then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?" The man says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army." The bartender says, "Alright then" and the man leaves.
A few minutes later another man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of whiskey. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the whiskey then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?" The man says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army." The bartender says "Alright then" and the man leaves.
The Irish man gets an idea and walks up to the bar and orders a shot of whiskey. He drinks the whiskey then starts walking out the door. The bartender says, "Hey aren't you going to pay for that?" The Scotsman says, "Excuse me, Castro's Army." The bartender says, "Hey where is your big black beard?" The Irish man thinks quickly. He lifts his Kilt and says, "Secret Service!"
Back to The Bar
The Olive Jar
A fellow came into a bar and ordered a martini. Before drinking it, he
removed the olive and carefully put it into a glass jar. Then he ordered
another martini and did the same thing. After an hour, when he was full of
martinis and the jar was full of olives, he staggered out.
"Well," said a customer, "I never saw anything as peculiar as that!"
"What's so peculiar about it?" the bartender said. "His wife sent him
out for a jar of olives."
50 Cent
A guy rushes into a bar, orders four expensive 30-year-old single malts and
has the bartender line them up in front of him. Then without pausing, he
quickly downs each one. "Whew," the bartender remarked, "you seem to be in a
hurry."
"You would be too if you had what I have."
"What do you have?" the bartender sympathetically asked.
"Fifty cents."
Whipe It Real Good
A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."
The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"
"Just rub toilet paper between them."
Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?"
"I don't know, but it worked for your ass."
Grab The Wheel
An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?"
The Irish man replies, "It's drivin' me nuts!"
This guy goes to a bar that's on the tenth floor of a hotel. He sits down and has a couple of drinks, then stands up, announces loudly that he has had enough, and goes over and jumps out the window. Now, there are two men who are sitting at a window table, and having that natural human curiosity about the grotesque, watch as this man plummets to certain death.
However, just as he is about to hit the ground, he rights himself, pulls his feet underneath himself,and lands gracefully. He then turns and comes back into the building. Naturally, the two men are amazed. The guy comes back into the bar, orders a few drinks, then repeats the process. The two men at the window seat are astounded! When the guy returns and repeats the procedure AGAIN, the two men stop him before he jumps and ask him how on earth he does that. He replies "It's simple, really. There's an air vent down by the ground, and if you catch the updraft, you can right yourself and land on the ground with no problems." Then he proceeded to jump out the window again. Well, these two men decided that they just HAD to try this, so they jumped out the window, and SPLAT! -- made a mess hitting all over the ground.
Meanwhile, the first guy has made it back up to the bar. When he sits down to order his drinks, the bartender says "Superman, you can be a real ------- when you're drunk!"
Back to The Bar
