Turtle Power

weird statues fat naked man riding on a turtle
Weird Statues: Balls to the wall!

Longevity. Sometimes it blows (or sucks). You might just live long enough to have a fat naked guy sit on you. Leonardo, a one time member of the infamous Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles found himself on hard times after the breakup of the group. He had to get a job as an escort just to survive. And as bad as tug jobs and shell shines might seem, he never could have seen this day coming. The day he would be working for the Gay Bear Ranch. What would master Splinter say?

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