Continued...
4. Croc sandles, shoes, no....slippers..whatever those things are. (They are frikin ugly. I don't care how comfortable you say they are. Where them at home. In a closet. Under a pile of clothes. With the lights turned off. Lock the door too. Better dead bolt it.)
3. Popped collars. (You usually see this style attempted by the same dudes that wear pink shirts. No, you are not a playa. You are geting played, because someone told you that looked cool. The only people that can get away with wearing a popped collar are Count Dracula, The Count from Sesame Street, Count Chocula, pretty much any count, and Elvis Presley. So unless you are a count, or a zombie, then no, you can't wear popped collars.)
2. Jumpsuits. (It's sad that I even know what these are, but I must confess I have watched a lot of America's Next Top Model with my wife. Again this goes with "look who's wearing it" Tyra banks really pushes these things. But then again so does Heidi Klum and I think she's a good model. But still no. Seperate your clothes. You look like you're about to juggle something and walk on a tight rope. Dun dun dun dun dun dunna nunna dun dun dunna nunna.)
1. Eskimo Boots (Uggs?). (Again another fashion bomb dropped on us by the Olsens. Now if you happen to be an eskimo living in an igloo, and you're out spearing some fish, then I'm going to let it slide, but I've seen people in California wear these. Come on. Does it get that cold in California? No. It doesn't. I can't imagine how stanky your feet must be.)
And now that I am done with the list all kinds of things are popping into my head, but enough is enough. Stop trying to be unique. You don't even know the meaning of the word.
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