"They're break-dance fighting." - Mugatu
"Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty." - Derek Zoolander
"Have you ever wondered if there was more to life, other than being really, really, ridiculously good looking?" - Derek Zoolander
"Seriously, do you like service yourself ten times a day?" - Derek Zoolander
"So join now, 'cause at the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too, we teach you that there's more to life than just being really, really, really good looking. Right kids?" - Derek Zoolander
"Let me show you Derelicte. It is a fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make this wonderful city so unique." - Mugatu
"Wait a minute. I might just have an idea. They'll be looking for us at Maury's right? But they won't be looking for... not us. " - Derek Zoolander
"I've got a prostate the size of a honeydew and a head full of bad memories." - Maury Ballstein
"Mugatu is so hot right now he could take a crap, wrap it in tinfoil, put a couple fish hooks on it and sell it to Queen Elizabeth as earrings. " - Maury Ballstein
"How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit inside the building?" - Derek Zoolander
"A eugoogalizor, one who speaks at funerals. Or did you think I'd be too stupid to know what a eugoogoly was?" - Derek Zoolander
"Now if you'll excuse me, I have an after-funeral party to attend." - Derek Zoolander
"You're dead to me, son. You're even more dead to me than your dead mother." - Larry Zoolander
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