Oh Lawdy Look Out
Showing posts with label girls. Show all posts
Showing posts with label girls. Show all posts
what a view
what a view
I prefer this view to a man's point of view. At the same time I never want this point of view, because I'm pretty happy being a dude. Besides I make one fugly chick.
Jugs T-Shirt
by PunHouse
When You See It: Rain Maker
The following is a collection of pictures I stole from the interwebs (shhhhh) with something that you might not notice at first. When you see it you'll shit bricks. Can you find the unusual thing in the pictures? Just leave a comment if you have a guess.
Female Reception
Have you ever gone through a tunnel or into a building and had your cell phone signal go a little whack, so that you couldn't really hear exactly what the person on the other end said? Or had an unplugged radio go nuts when some redneck truckers decides to get on his seriously powerful C.B. radio at 3 in the morning singing really crappy love songs? I've had both. These little interferences get the original message twisted up until it's not the same message anymore. Well this is how chicks work.
You see guys' brains have great recievers. The sound quality is dolby....um 5.0. Girls' brains are on a calling plan. They have great reception with other girls, but their conversation with a guy can get a bit fuzzy. Did I lose you? I lost myself. Anyway, sometimes they go through tunnels. What are these tunnels? Bad memories. Bad memories triggered by keywords or phrases. Okay maybe I should have gone with an internet analogy here.
Think of it like this. When you're talking to a girl she's driving her car. You're at home microwaving hot pockets or something. She doesn't know where she's going. She's just going where you tell her to go. Every word you speak sends her in a certain direction. Certain keywords or phrases trigger memories of hers, which sends her into a tunnel where her reception get's screwy. After you've experienced this enough you can start to tell when she's just entered a tunnel.
How can you tell a tunnel is being entered? It's simple. If her response to what you just said makes you go "WTF?" she's entering a tunnel.
For example. You say "I need to get some more gas in the car before we leave."
And she answers back. "Oh so I'm too fat for you now? You're going to the store to get away from me? If you don't want to go to my parents then just say so."
Let me make this very clear. Do not keep trying to make her understand what you are saying. She's going through a tunnel. You're just going to make it worse. Just say I can tell you're going through a tunnel right now. I'll talk to you later. This will give her time to get out of the tunnel, and you can think of a different way to phrase whatever you're saying.
Toy Yoda. lol. That hooters prositute is pissed.
The Friend Zone
This post goes out to all my homies in the friend zone. One love yo. But not from me, cause I don't get down like that. Word.
Chicks. WTF? They say "Why are all guys jerks?" "I'm tired of these jerks. I want a nice guy." But then they go for the jerks. Being nice to a girl gets you put in the friend zone. Being a complete dick that would cheat on her every time she turns her head gets you a girl that will never leave you.
I've been a member of the friend zone on many occasions in my past. So I have some advice to offer for those stuck in the friend zone. Just ask first. Do the nice things after, because chicks are going to use you. Ask if the girl is interested in a relationship, and if she says no then bail.
And chicks stop it already. You say guys are blind. Hello. You don't see the guy doing everything for you? The guy that's always there for you? You think that guy really wants to just be friends? Do your girlfriends give you that much attention? HELLO! MCFLY! "Let's just be friends." Come on. Does that ever work? No guy is going to say yes to that. You're never going to see that dude again.
Hope you like grabbing beers out of the fridge for your husband and his "friend from high school". Now go watch your kids and keep your mouth shut before you get smacked.
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