Perms Should Be Illegal

Just that image alone should have convinced you. But I realize most of my readers are blind. So for my blind viewers I will type some words for someone to read to you out loud.(we're still working on getting some braille on here) Don't get someone with a perm. Make sure to feel their head for poofyness. Let's begin.

First of all I want to say that I have nothing against people who have perms. And that I love fresh jelly in my pants.

Gotcha. Just seeing if you're paying attention.

(For my non blind readers you should have skipped this part. Duh)

DEATH AND DESTRUCTION:

Anyway. Where was I? Perms cause over a million home fires every year, and hundreds of forest fires. Okay those stats are not very accurate as I just made them up, but I'm sure it's a lot. Every time some old lady or Justin Timberlake decides to freshen up their nest some poor little baby birdy looses theirs.

Over... uh, okay we'll just say a lot of car accidents happen from people wearing perms walking down the street. I mean you just have to look. "What the frak is that?" Boom. You run into a tractor trailer.

HIGH UNEMPLOYMENT

Perms are the number one reason for high unemployment. Think about it. How many people with perms that you know are good hard working people? Think hard. Maybe a few sure, but most are lazy, and think they are entitled to everything just because they've been sucking the life out of this earth for a long time.

The people with perms have the jobs, because well they were put there when seniority was in play, and now the company is stuck with them, because they do just enough work when the bosses are looking, and well firing an old lady just sounds mean.

So a lot of work is not getting done, because "Permzilla" does a crap job, and the company is loosing money, but they can't afford to get anymore workers, because she's been there so long that she makes an outrageous amount of money. Not to mention her benefits, which she takes full advantage of. The doctor has her plan number memorized.

If none of this has convinced you then you're not drunk enough. I'm moving to Uranus. No wait there's perms there too. Perms suck!