"I guess the foot's on the other hand now, isn't it, Kramer?" - Striker
"Mostly, I remember the nights when we were together. I remember how you used to hold me and... how I used to sit on your face and wiggle." - Elaine
"Ladies and gentleman, this is your stewardess speaking. We regret any inconvenience the sudden cabin movement might have caused. This is due to periodic air pockets we encountered. There's no reason to be alarmed and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?" - Elaine
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking." - McCroskey
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking." - McCroskey
" Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines." - McCroskey
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue." - McCroskey
"The last thing he said to me, "Doc," he said, "Sometime when the crew is up against it, the breaks are beating the boys, tell them to get out there and give it all they got and win just one for the Zipper. I don't know where I'll be then, Doc," he said, "but I won't smell too good, that's for sure." - Rumack
" Loneliness, that's the bottom line. I was never happy as a child... Christmas, Ted, what does that mean to you? It was living hell. Do you know what it's like falling in the mud and getting kicked, in the head? With an iron boot? Of course you don't, no one does, that never happens. Sorry, Ted, skip that, it's a dumb question." - Kramer
"All right, give me Hamm on five, hold the Mayo!" - Captain Oveur
"Joey, did ya ever hang around a gymnasium?" - Captain Oveur
"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?" - Captain Oveur
"Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?" - Captain Oveur
"Have you ever seen a grown man naked?" - Captain Oveur
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